how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

What did david give back? Nothing.

What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

your a vagina says you, you're a tit

A group of teenage boys put a flaming bag of dog feces on Old Man Howard's doorstep. He came out and demanded that they stop such behavior at once. They did, and the day went on normally.

What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

Q: Why did the black man break into the house? A: Because he was poor and couldn't afford his daughters cancer treatment.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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