Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

thumb_up thumb_down -39

A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q.whats the weirdest thing??????? A.woman leaders

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -39

how did the man die he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Roses are blue vilotets are yellow, obviously I don't know this rhyme so well u have aids and will die of cancer at the age of 25, and so will ur mom

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call a man who was just struck in the head with a bowling ball? An ambulance would be the most appropriate thing to call since this man just sustained a serious head injury and medical responders should be contacted, lest his brain start hemorrhaging.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

mark lawson likes boys

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

thumb_up thumb_down -57

A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops