My friend harris is fat.

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What's 9+ 10?! 19

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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What's worse than being a jew in the holocaust Being born black

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Elizabeth Warren

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

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Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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A women's opinion.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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I was once a hamster.

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DING DONG! Did you have to ring the doorbell? You just ruined a good knock knock joke!

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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