What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

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Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

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What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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1: I know a lot of people hate Mondays, but my least favorite day of the week is Thursday. 2: Can I ask why? 1: Of course you can. Everyone has free will.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Why does girls have two left feet and two left hands? Because girls have no rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops