What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So this moose walks into the super-market and asks the lady woman at he counter "Got any potatoes?" Lady woman says "Down Isle 5" So the moose goes down isle 5 and there isn't any potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a Muslim guy on a plane? A passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black person who just received a bachlors degree from Havard? A very educated human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the indian boy say to his friend? I wish you were real

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

there is a blonde, red head, and brunet held captive in afghanistan. The people say whats your last word to the red head, she says tornado... they turned and she escaped, they say to the brunet what is your last word, she says tsunami.. they turn and she escaped. They go to the blonde and say what is your last word, she says fire... she is then shot rapidly and she dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

thumb_up thumb_down -3

yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops