A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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One time at band camp, I advanced my clarinet skill, which led me to have a good life.

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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A cat walks into a bar and says.......Meow

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there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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What did the black man say to the asian man? hello.

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

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i have two hands.

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

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What did the skinny man say to the fat woman. That sucks.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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