A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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