Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

thumb_up thumb_down +7

4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue God makes things beautiful... What happened to you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A racist walks into a bar. Nasty accident you had there mate. You should be more careful next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops