How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Dave then complied, opened the door and let the police search his house. He was then found innocent of drug related charges.

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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