My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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jibby jobby

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what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Guess what. Butts. www.youtube.com/c/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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