wanna here a joke? you.

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

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monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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Romeny or Obama? Obamney

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops