do you currently smoke? i hope not.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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What do you call a gay jewish guy? Heblew.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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kyle dosnt question his sexuality

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Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

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MAKE

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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