How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Harry Chappell raped someone

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

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Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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