Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Anne Frank

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A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

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What is the difference between a white mans penis and a black mans penis? It doesn't matter, phallic size isn't everything its what you do that defies you.

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Whats sadder than a lost baby deer? Im too lazy too think of the rest of the joke.

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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( . Y . )

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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What do you call a fat man in a tiny pipe? Stuck.

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101 ways to annoy people 1.) lying about having a 101 ways to annoy people

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want to hear a cat joke? i'm just kitten....

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

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What did Pikachu say to Charmander? Nothing. Pokemon are fictional creatures, and thus, do not exist.

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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