Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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What did the very inquisitive poor black guy say to the very rich white man at the train station? Nothing, they didn't know each other. And they both had their iPods in. And they were at different train stations. And they were in different countries. And the black guy died 20 years ago.

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Knock Know! Come in!

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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What's green, and looks like money? Money...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops