If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

Q: what did one kangaroo say too the other kangaroo? A: I was told I am schizophrenic.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

anti-joke.com

What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

why was the boy sad? because.

How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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