Little kid asks his mom: "Why do zombies eat people?" His mom says: "Becasue honey, your MEAT"

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

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How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

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What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

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Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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