How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

Why was the boy sad? Because his family was raped and stripped of their possessions

Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

Why did the chicken cross the road? On a fundamental level, it was pursuing evolutionary instincts, perhaps a half-bored interest in food.

TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

There Are 2 People A lack Person And A White Person, The Black Person Looks Over At The White Person And Said, "Hi Tyrone!"

What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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