What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the little girl drown? because she was left unsupervized and had never properly learned to swim. she also had no arms and cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If you're reading this, you can read.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is the difference between 10 and 3 7

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There are two hippos in a bathtub, one says to the other, "pass the soap." the other hippo says, "no soap, radio."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops