How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

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Why was the woman?

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womens rights.

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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