Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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Lil' Wayne

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

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Brad Fuller!

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What did the man with sores on his tounge get for a birthday present? He recieved a very nice pair of trousers which he wore to work from time to time

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of the bar? He was riding a jack hammer

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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its snowing on mount fuji

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How do you know it's a bad day? When your brain does not release a high enough level of seratonin.

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops