The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because your a fag.

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

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Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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