Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH RESPECT MY 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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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