Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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I saw my friend stabbing a girl. i asked what is he doing "Oh im just killing time" turns out the girls name is Time Demson. What a weird name i thought to myself.

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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