What do you call a man with no arms or legs? His name.

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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Why did the blonde turn red Because some one lit her on fire

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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What did your mother say after I beat her? Nothing, because she was dead.

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

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hey i just met you and this is crazy so heres my number actually is dolan

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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