Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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