why am i a dick head. because my gcse's spelt fudge and i dont like fudge so i project my anger into boss things

A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

Romeo and Juliet both die at the end of the book. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA i just screwed you guys over.

8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

When adolf hitler went to the chippy, He ordered a bock wurst. Later, he ate the whole thing and said he wants another.

so if you need 20 dollars and you just kicked your cat how old is your mom. cake because you are a 666 member.

Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

what is a chicken answer: chicken

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.