Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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Why did the crack addict see colors. He was looking at the northern lights

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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hi

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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