- Anti Joke

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

why was the man sad? he found out his wife was man .

TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

The dewey decimal system

What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

What didnt rebecca black do today ride the bus

Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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