are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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Does an Anti-Joke need to have an ironic punch line? ...

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

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shauns beautiful

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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What are we then hypocrites?

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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