A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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how big is the moon? why the hell are you asking me?...dumbass.

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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