Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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WHAT????

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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Q: How did the black man cross the Atlantic? A: He flew with an airliner, a large fixed-wing aircraft for transporting passengers and cargo.

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops