What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

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Just Replying to Brock Facebook request Brock you should know by now that i am at your school talk to me there. Plus i loved the kiss you gave me in science. Now that tested my chemistry. Hehe. Emma Brown xOxOxOxXXXXXoOOOOO

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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oooh look a banshee

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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What do you call a black man with a PhD.? A Doctor! What are you, racist?

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

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Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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