Knock, Knock? Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are you crying? I'm not crying. Oh.

Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

Why is my room black and white? Because your in a black and white movie.

what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

i have to pee out my ass.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven died three months ago and was clawing on his bedroom window.

Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

...............................................................hi

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with an alligator? Go take some acid and find out for yourself

Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

Q: What's worst than the Holocaust? A: 6 million Jews

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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