Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

what is a bracket? a bracket

Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

david what a baghead

What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

what happened to the drug addict? he go high

What's white and cant jump? A Fridge

once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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