kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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On a scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky how much do you like kids?

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?... because he was dead

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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What's that in the road.... a-head?

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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What is the difference between a black man and a Chevrolet? They didn't sell Chevrolets in the 1800s.

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nina...;shut up we are having fun :)

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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