A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you can a Brazilian woman wearing a bikini? It depends on the case, but usually Brazilian women are named "Maria", "Ana", "Júlia" and many others kinds of names, with their root being hispanic, portguese and latin lenguages. Respectively, the names quoted have the English translation being "Mary", for Maria, "Anne", for Ana, and July, for Júlia.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black man in a country bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

thumb_up thumb_down +12

bish bash bosh giz a nosh

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You and your parents are going to die today

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops