what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

MAGHBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats one plus one penis

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DON'T POST MESSAGE ON LIKE DIFFERENT VIDEO

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The Christian Bible.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What can fly? Lots of things

thumb_up thumb_down +16

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There was an american man on the way to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you jab a four year old with a pair of scissors? A warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops