i died. new product by steve jobs

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Chrysanthemums our orange violettes are musical

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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