What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

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Why did the American run over the black man. Because he didn't see him standing there.

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did he have to die so young? It just isn't fair... In all considerations, the bullet didn't ask to become embedded in his skull either.

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what was the last pizza place the twin towers ordered from? Domino's

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ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? After hours of waiting for the perfect victim, the boy spotted an elderly woman walking down the sidewalk. The clock barreled through the air, hitting the old woman on the head at extremely high speeds. She was immediately killed on contact.

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TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

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lipstick pig

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Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

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Everyone always gets up in arms over human trafficking... ... Well I kind of enjoy the convenience of air travel and so on.

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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A man is balancing on a bar. But it's a bar where people drink so I don't know how that works.

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Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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