Morning wood.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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The Holocaust.

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What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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Wats rong with yo leg.....

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what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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What do you call two black men and a hispanic man in the back of a car? The punchline of this joke is offensive, and might bring legal troubles to Anti-Joke.Com and it's subsidiaries. For these reasons, Anti-Joke.Com will not allow it to be shown.

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What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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who ever is reading this....

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you first

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

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What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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