How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

Kathy Griffin.

How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

children of those parents which re childless, often are childless too...

Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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