Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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Some of the people on this site who write these "jokes" are complete morons. Many of them believe that racism, sexism, and spamming is hilarious. Each one of them is a ****ing dumbass and needs to be removed from this site. Racism is not funny, people are murdered because of it! Those who think that they are being funny by insulting others need to get a life and stop ruining this site for others who want to read good jokes free of racism. Africans, Hispanics, Jews, and everyone else deserves better than to be insulted like this. And I'm a white, so take that you racist whores! I apologize for those of you who have good humor that have to read this, but those other jerks need to be told off.

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Why did the young boy lose a testicle? Because he was viciously raped by a large parrot

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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david your girlfriend has a nice ass

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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<!-- alert('I lost the game'); -->

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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