Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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TIMMAH!

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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