If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

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If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

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I would rape her

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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hahahahaha thats not funny

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Your grandma's cookies.

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Cus 7 had AIDS and it was bleeding all over the place!

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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