Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Okay, one second.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats an Anti Joke

thumb_up thumb_down +39

how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

thumb_up thumb_down +39

It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

kieran scott has a huge back

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops