Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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'Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' 'My name is Boo, I'm sorry,I think I was given the wrong address, I'll be on my way now' Boo walks away from the unsuspecting person's front door and goes to the next house along in the hope of finding the house he was originally searching for.

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Knock, knock ... ... No one answers the door because knocks produce a quieter sound than a doorbell and the residents of the house are upstairs watching a movie.

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penis

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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Black Friday

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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Basically copying you.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops