On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

tom pauling

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

thumb_up thumb_down -3

if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red and violets are in fact violet

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops