Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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What's big and fat? An obese man.

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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A blonde walks into a library. She is a commerce major.

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Whats funny about the Holocaust? Nothing.

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

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What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops