There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +38

have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

thumb_up thumb_down +36

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

thumb_up thumb_down +36

You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops